FAQ about the political situation in Egypt

1.       Does SCAF want to remain in power?

Yes

2.       Does SCAF have a strategic plan?

Yes

3.       What is the time frame of SCAF strategic thinking?

15-20 minutes

4.       Is SCAF evil?

Yes

5.       Is SCAF stupid?

Yes

6.       Why does SCAF do things that are not in its own interest?

Go to 5.

7.       Is there a deal between SCAF and MB?

Yes

8.       No, seriously is there a deal between SCAF and MB?

Yes

9.       Is SCAF going to honor that deal?

No

10.   Are the MB going to honor that deal?

No

11.   Are SCAF members in full agreement amongst themselves?

No

12.   Do some SCAF members wear Ladies' Lingerie?

Probably

13.   Do you wear ladies' lingerie?

No

14.   Does SCAF have any intention to relinquish power?

No

15.   Were the elections rigged?

Yes

16.   Are Salafis for real?

Yes

*Short break as both the interviewer and interviewee break down in tears*

17.   Who is the most prominent presidential candidate?

Amr Mousa

*Short break as both the interviewer and interviewee break down in tears*

18.   Is Mubarak going to die?

Never

19.   Is it true that collecting Suez Canal fees in EGP will help the currency?

No

20.   But several people said that if we collect the fees from Suez..

I said No

21.   What position will the SCAF aim for post the revolution?

To remain in control from behind (AKA Political Doggie Style)

22.   Where is Omar Suleiman?

Atchoum!!!

23.   Who is running the country now?

Does this look like a country that is being run?

24.   Please don't answer my question with a question

OK

25.   Who is running the country now?

The country is not being run.. it's mostly being taken for a walk

26.   Is there a plan from foreign forces to destroy Egypt as SCAF said?

Yes

27.   What are the details of the plan to destroy Egypt?

To let us, Egyptians, continue to do whatever it is we've been doing for the past 11 months. Apparently, nothing those foreign forces planned was as destructive as our own sense of leadership and organization

28.   Why has traffic deteriorated so much in the past few months?

Traffic police are back

29.   What do you think is the one characteristic that dominates Egypt's political scene today?

Statement retraction (make a statement and then retract it)

30.   OK, just to confirm.. Are the Salafis for real?

Yes